by Judith Dreyer, MS, BSN
Being patient with oneself is often easier said than done. For example, the thoughts generated by our minds may seem to be repetitious and endless. We experience thoughts that cycle over the same thing again and again. It feels like we are facing off against a daunting opponent. However, if we recognize these thoughts through mindful awareness and assume a posture of presence in the moment, we can shift, decrease our attachment to those thoughts, as well as our endless cycling and recycling of them. Through mindful awareness practices, our “noble” opponent becomes an opportunity.
How do we turn our noble opponent described above into an opportunity? What do we need to do to create a favorable outcome? By quieting the mind, which helps decrease resistance (and consequently increasing acceptance) through mindfulness practices, we generate a sense of calm that slowly, with consistent practice, increases our awareness and somehow gets us off auto-pilot.
Patience is key. Cultivating patience contains the potential for releasing expectations, allowing us to be in the flow of any situation. Patience viewed this way is dynamic because we are acknowledging that life is impermanent.
Why is impermanence crucial to an understanding of the nature of human life and mindful practices?? Look at nature. Seeds become plants, create flowers and fruits, then wither and die and leave seeds to be born again. Some seeds blossom and thrive - but some seeds remain hidden for years before the light reaches them. Nature operates on a system of life and death, birth and aging, growth and decline, embodying impermanence. Look at the land after a hurricane or a tornado. Our suffering comes from placing an expectation for our life to remain unchanged. We cling to an expectation of being safe from tragedy, free of illness. Yet no matter how much we plan and hope, life continues to bring in the unexpected.
Today we face unprecedented demands on our patience, time, and energy reserves that a few short months ago, we would have dismissed as folly. A global pandemic seemed impossible, yet here we are.
Businesses are closing, and those that are open are shifting perspectives, creating different formats, whether folks like it or not.
Families work, school, and play together in a constrained personal space while being separated from extended family.
Consider the persistent social and economic crises. It may seem like the world is turning upside down, over, and over again. All of this affects how we feel, what we think, and how we treat each other and ourselves. At times the influx of information to digest today is overwhelming.
Patience and mindfulness practice help us deal with that uncertainty and the knowing that nothing is permanent. Our intent is not to conquer our thoughts but rather to be aware of them.
David Nichtern, in Awakening from the Daydream, suggests: “ a much more potent approach is to take the attitude that whatever arises in our minds is manageable and we do not have to try to conquer it with an aggressive and goal-oriented approach.”
Our society trains us to be very goal oriented. We can use this to our benefit by adding in a mindful moment, which is an easy way to incorporate balance into our daily patterns. Simply pausing and focusing on our breath really makes a difference, defusing the refrain of “I gotta do, gotta be.”
Adding in a more contemplative exercise such as meditation or prayer allows the unknowable to peek in, adding a dimension of peace to the numerous possibilities we face daily. Maybe we don’t feel the peace immediately, maybe even not the first time or two, but with practice, we become more sensitive to our thoughts. Slowly, we develop the ability to live without getting carried away by our thoughts. Adding in patience and kindness towards ourselves yields positive, foundational change.
Here at Cloud9 Online: www:c9ohealth.com, we suggest that yes, we can create more inner calm as we live with and live through these changes. We offer a meditation app, MediMind, for free for a limited time that includes music. This App is easy to find and use on all devices, allows you to have mindful practice in your daily life.
In the meantime: Slow and steady cultivates more kindness towards self and a sense of peacefulness. When we feel patient and calm, we offer that to the world around us. Patience grows the capacity to endure what is complicated or disagreeable without complaining, or at the very least, with more tolerance.
Remember: Breathe in. . .breathe out… It’s that easy.
Citations: David Nichtern, in Awakening from the Daydream
